


Jelly Baby

by aspermoth



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Culture, Comment Fic, Gen, Humor, Jelly Baby, Royalty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspermoth/pseuds/aspermoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Amy Pond stepped out of the TARDIS and onto the surface of an alien planet for the second time in her life, she hadn't really know what to expect. The first time, she'd encountered murderous angel statues that had almost killed her before falling to their deaths – no, their un-existances – through the crack that used to be in her bedroom wall. So she'd theorised that things couldn't really go much worse this time around.</p><p>The last thing that she expected was a welcoming party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jelly Baby

When Amy Pond stepped out of the TARDIS and onto the surface of an alien planet for the second time in her life, she hadn't really know what to expect. The first time, she'd encountered murderous angel statues that had almost killed her before falling to their deaths – no, their un-existances – through the crack that used to be in her bedroom wall. So she'd theorised that things couldn't really go much worse this time around.

The last thing that she expected was a welcoming party.

Especially not a welcoming party that instantly set about crowning her as Queen and throwing a spectacular banquet in her honour.

All things considered, it seemed like an improvement. But if travelling with the Doctor had taught Amy anything, it had taught her that appearances are nothing.

It was quite nice wearing a crown, though.

She was sat at the centre of a rather spectacular table – a structure carved from a humongous piece of smooth, shiny rock that was darker than any other rock she'd seen in her life – with Rory, as her "consort", to her right; the Doctor, at her insistence, to her left; and the strangest spread of foods before the three of them that Amy had seen since a strange man in a blue box had crashed into her garden before eating fish-custard in her kitchen.

But still, everything was going well until the desserts came along.

Oh. Oh _God_.

She leant over to the Doctor and hissed in his ear, "What is _that_?"

"What?"

" _That_. It... looks like a _baby_!"

"Oh, that. It's a jelly baby."

"It's _moving_."

It looked real. By God it looked real. It looked like somebody had just taken a human baby, maybe two or three weeks old, and plonked it on a plate with a garnish of mint. Its face was contorted in silent crying and its plump little fists were waving gently through the air.

"You've got to eat it."

"What?"

"It's part of the crowning ceremony. Just eat the baby and it'll all be over and we can leave."

The idea made Amy feel a little bit sick.

"I can't. It's a baby!"

"If you don't, they're going to throw you in a volcano."

"I can't eat a _baby_."

"It's a great big jelly baby. Don't you like jelly babies?"

"Not when they're _looking at me_."

"On this planet it's a delicacy." He snapped off one of the baby's gently waving hands and popped it into his mouth. "Mm. Have a taste."

Amy's response was short, explosive and considered in most circles to be reasonably obscene. The response to that of their hosts was not positive.

The reign of Queen Amelia Pond came to a very abrupt end when she, Rory and the Doctor were forced to flee for their lives from the group of angry, offended locals, escaping in the TARDIS in the nick of time.

Better than Angels, perhaps; but when the Doctor asked for suggestions for their next destination, it didn't take her long to pick Earth.

But that was another story though, of course.


End file.
